Ineffective Taunts

Okay so this may be the last time I post until after Tokyo. I'll be journaling everyday though so there will be plenty to read when I get home :)

God is still equipping me for Tokyo and I am loving what I'm finding!

"Then I will answer the one who taunts me, for I trust in Your word." v. 42

It's kind of like a 'nanny nanny boo boo' moment. Almost like 'I've got God, you can't get me!'

And as silly as that sounds its true. If we have Christ in our lives the satan has no hold over us. I don't even think my heart and my mind are even beginning to realize how awesome this is.

God has given me, all Christians really, He has given us the ability to send satan away. Heck yeah man! :)

I've been using the very old, very used, but very effective phrase 'get behind me satan in Christ's name' a lot lately.

I went to a church in my town that's not where I normally go last night. My youth group wasn't meeting because of our Vacation Bible School but I know a lot of the kids at the other church and the youth pastor, Cory, and I have gotten to be pretty good friends.

The lesson was about Meshach, Shadrach, and Abendego and how they were placed where they were (they were in pretty prominent positions in the government) by God so He would receive glory. Cory was talking about how we are all called somewhere, whether it be our hometowns or Tokyo like I'm going.

I found myself hoping Cory would say something about me and the trip to Tokyo. I squashed that feeling fast! I could tell it was only the sinful part of me wanting to be exalted. Immediately I started praying, got my head on straight and moved on.

Maybe 10 minutes later Cory made a comment about the Tokyo trip. My cheeks were red I could just feel them burning!

God allowed that to happen after I had my heart right so that I would have the love and prayers of the youth behind me.

I got my heart right, praised God for the opportunity to go to Japan and then He allowed Cory to say something.

That's God equipping His children :)

Continuous Reminders

It seems like the more I think about what God is doing for me in this situation that I find myself in the more He does. The more He gives me. He keeps showing me He has the strength to get me through this. Genesis 15:5 "God took Abraham outside and said 'look up at the heavens and count the stars- if indeed you can count them.' Then He said to him, 'So shall be your offspring.'" There is a pause in this verse where God waits for Abraham to count the stars. We don't ever think about Abraham actually attempting to count the stars. We would simply say "Uhhh... no thanks. Thats not possible." But I'm sure Abraham tried. And after a little time and lots of redos and startovers God finally told him 'So shall be your offspring.' God does stuff like this to give us a reminder of His promises. Its a very effective way of keeping His promises in sight instead of allowing us tp block them and forget them. He reminds me beacuse He loves me. How awesome??? No matter what else happens, in this time or in another, God will continue to remind me of what He has done. When I go through the day and look around me I see people I love, things of beauty, and so much that He has blessed me with. That in and of itself is a reminder. So ha! I don't have to worry :) In the words of Wes Hamilton "Thats not who I am so its not what I'll do."

All Sufficient Grace

The past couple of days I've been struggling a little. I've had something happen in my life that breaks my heart. I'm constantly praying for wisdom because I don't know what to do. This morning I had this strange craving. I had to find something in God's word. I didn't know what it was so before I started looking I asked God to show me. My thoughts turned to my Armed and Dangerous book. This book has been an amazing tool many times since I received it. It's bright orange and I definitely recommend getting it if you have the chance. It has many, many verses listed by topic. Abortion, accountability, ambition, appearance, bad habits, beauty, bitterness, compassion, confidence, conformity, envy, faith, dating, guilt, forgiveness, homosexuality, humility, money, marriage, persecution, prayer, pride, was, trouble... so many that all people deal with everyday. When I was looking through it this morning I flipped to the topic of defeat. It wasn't where I had planned on looking but when I saw it at the top of the page I thought it fitting. I did feel defeated in this situation. It was getting out of control and there was nothing I could do about it. But that's why God directed me to this verse. 2 Corinthians 12:9 "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." His grace is sufficient... His power is made perfect in my weakness... How amazing is that? I can't get over it. When the words sank in I had this overwhelming peace. In this horrible situation God's power is made perfect. I continue to ask for wisdom because I know God has a plan for what is happening. I pray to be led to the foot of the cross because thats what everything comes back to. That was a day God's power was truly made perfect. Everything we do either leads someone to the cross or turns them away. I pray that in everything I do and say someone would see God's light and love.

6 Days Left

Okay so there is just 6 days until base camp. My goodness! I can't believe its actually here! Breazy and Katie are still off so keep praying for them! I'm so nervous but beyond excited. I may not know what to expect but I know God is already doing some great things. I can't even try to put any expectations out there because that would be like limiting God. There is not limit to what He will be doing! I pray that this would change lives. Not only for the Japanese but for all the kids, interns, coordinators, and missionaries with iGo Global. Actually God is going to change lives, of that I have no doubt, what I truly pray for is that it could be done gently in most cases. I know sometimes it takes something radical to bring you to a faith in God but not always. Who knows? Maybe God has something radical planned for me. If so I can't wait to see it! :-D Please pray for me and all the iGosians (cute name huh?) that we might be completely opened to the opportunities God gives us and that we might be radically changed for Him.

"Cut-and-Paste Christianity"

"In the beginning God mase man in His own image. Man has been making God in his image since." Mark Batterson. So often we stry to do everything our way. We take what God has given us and we change it. We "cut-out" the parts we don't like, the parts we can't explain, and the parts that make us "feel bad" about our sin. I don't even think we realize how amazing it is, by our standards, that God still loves us. If someone treated us like we treat God we wouldn't love them, we wouldn't want to have a relationship with them, we would do whatever it took to avoid them and hurt them. But that isn't what God called us to do. We can't fit God into a box of our own making whether its a physical one that we can touch or one that we've made up in our mind. There is just too much about Him that is beyond comprehension. We can't choose how we want Him to be because He already is! We can't say we follow God then treat Him and those we proclaim to love like dirt. We have to take God as He is and allow Him to change us so that we understand why He is the way He is. Anytime we try otherwise we're making assumptions that put us into a spiritual cage. Those assumptions trap us and keep us locked away. They hold us back. We are caging ourselves with our own logic. The more we try to rationalize the Bible the less we have to live with and for. Less love... less joy... less peace... less contentment... less happiness... less life... By rationalizing and trying to explain it away we take away everything that matters. Foremost our relationship with God but also people, blessings, things we take for granted... we might as well have as explained it away too.

Psalms 119

"...I will not neglect Your word." v. 16b How often do I try to fix a problem on my own? Do I neglect God's word? Do I disregard it? God gave us the Bible as a means of communication, and to show us His story. He's still writing that story today and He wants to put each of us in it. But if we aren't even spending time in His word how can He use us? If we aren't searching His word for answers how can He grow us in Him? If we aren't asking questions how can God direct us? "How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your word." v. 9

White Washed Spirit

"Instead of embracing the mystery, we come up with human explanation for supernatural phenomena." Mark Batterson. "If I were to wish for anything I should not wish for wealth or power, but for the passioante sense of waht can be, for th eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Please disappont, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating as possibility." Soren Kierkegaard. We often make assumptions that take all the mystery and majesty out of life. We're literally making our lives dull. We might as well paint everything white. White buildings, white furniture, white clothes, white... everything. Because our assumptions are basically whitewash on the beautiful mysteries of the Spirit.

Variety Anyone?

When we have a routine we have to change it up a little every now and then or it stops doing us good. When we exercise the same way every day our muscles adapt and cease to grow stronger. Small changes in that routine can give us radical results physically. Its the same spiritually. During softball season when I played I wouldn't drink cokes at all. Not a drop. Because of that my workouts went better, I got stronger, faster, and lost like 15 pounds. If such a dramatic change happened just because I made the small change of not drinking cokes what would cutting out tv or video games do for our spiritual life? We all have things that we absolutely love and use all the time. I love to read. Books are my favorite thing in the world. A while back I fasted from books for 40 days during a bible study my youth group was doing. It was terrible! I had nothing to do. But one day as I was in my room it hit me. 'Since I can't read why don't I pray?' This was before I was truly saved but it still made a difference in my life. Even now sometimes I'll lay down the book in my hands and begin to pray. Little things like that make all the difference.

Psalms 115

"... He does whatever pleases Him." v. 3b God does things we don't understand but in the end He is pleased. What pleases Him the most is when what He does is for our best. NEWS FLASH!! Anything God does is for our best. The hard times are God's refining fire burning away our impurities. The good times are when He allows us to rest. He keeps His hand over us to protect us. He speaks to us to prepare us for the next round through the fire.

Routine or Ritual?

"Sacred routines become empty rituals when we do them out of left-brain memory and not right-brain imagination." Mark Batterson, Wild Goose Chase. Too often we "learn" how to worship God and then it becomes meaningless. Our worship and our prayer become unreal, unfeeling. There is no one way to worship. Our daily lives are worship. When we live our lives in a way that shows God's love, mercy, and grace we are pointing people to Him. We are making Him famous which is an essential act of worship. When we learn how we can't forget why. If we get to the point when we don't remember why we worship we're just going through the motions. Studies have shown that people tend to stop thinking about song lyrics after hearing them about 30 times. I myself am proof of this fact. I make myself listen to the words of songs, reminding myself of their truth and meaning. "He is jealouse for me..." God is a jealous God. As humans we know what jealousy feels like. We all have at least one best friend, or a boyfriend or girlfriend. When that person starts to spend time with other people more than you, those feelings start to take root. But they aren't of God. When they come to me I immediately have to pray. That jealous girl is not who I am so its not what I'm going to do. "He loves like a hurricane I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy..." In southeast Texas hurricanes are experienced. We've all seen the footage of hurricane Ike and the aftermath. We all saw the wind as it blew entire houses over, uprooted trees, and so much other damage. Take that picture and apply that force to the love of God. Only God's love isn't destructive. It builds us up and comforts us. "When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory..." When God's glory eclipses the afflictions we're experiencing- the loss of a loved one, a diagnosis we weren't expecting, an accident- whatever it may be, when those afflictions are covered by God's glory we have the promise of an end. We remember God's promise to never leave us, to provide a way out. "And I realize just how beatiful You are and how great Your affections are for me..." We take the focus off our problems and we see how beautiful God is and how much He truly cares. We see Him standing with us in the midst of the storm. The eye of hurricane Ike passed over my hometown and it was literally the calm in the in the midst of the storm. Above me there was blue sky and clouds, but when I looked further out in any direction there was dark clouds everywhere and lightning striking. I couldn't see the rain or hear the wind whistling but I'd already been through that so I knew what others were getting and knew what was coming. Its in the calm that we realize God is with us and that even though we know whats coming He'll stay with us. He's put us through the storm so we can help others who are still in it. "Oh, how He loves us so..." Kind of self explanatory. God loves us. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. God's love is real. "He is jealous for me. He loves like a hurricane I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy. When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me. Oh, how He loves us so. Oh how He loves us. How He loves us all. "Yeah He loves us. Oh how He loves us. Oh how He loves us. Oh how He loves. And we are His portion and He is our prize. Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes. If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking. And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest. I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that He loves us. Oh how He loves us. Oh how He loves us. Oh He loves." David Crowder Band, How He Loves.

Psalms 113

God is the God of miracles. He takes the worst circumstances and makes them the best thing that ever happened to us. How could we ever think we can do a better job? That our plan is the best? "Jesus is going to save the world but, maybe, the best thing we can do is just get out of the way." Casting Crowns, What This World Needs. I have to stop trying to be God. He knows whats best. He sees the entire picture when I see only whats in front of me. If I start thinking in the sense of 'eternity' instead of 'right now' my priorites shift greatly. I need to choose where my allegiances truly lie. Either I'm a servant of God or a servant of self. I can't have it both ways.

Psalms 112

Even in the worst of times God will shine a light. He's not going to leave me in the dark. He's with me. When I'm hurting He holds me. When I'm crying He wipes my tears away. When I see no end to the hurt He fills me with His peace. When I can't go on anymore He fills me with His strength. He hasn't left me to fumble about in the dark. He's holding His hand out for me to take so He can lead me. Thats all He wants. For us to reach out and take His hand. He wants to show us the way but we have to choose to let Him. We're either all in or all out. There is no fence to straddle, no middle ground, when it comes to God.

Psalms 111

Ever wonder why at the worst times, your happiest memories come back to you? I've never really thought about it but its true. In my life when things have gotten bad it feels like I have so many memories clamoring to get past my distressed feelings and be at the forefront of my mine. Psalms 111:4 explains why: "He has caused His wonders to be remembered; The Lord is gracious and compassionate." God puts the good memories in a place to be remembered. He knows that when we're in hard times we'll need to remember happy times. Thats His grace and compassion at work. He helps us stay positive. Not all aspects of God are the ones we want to see though. In verse 10 it says "The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom." I struggle with fearing God. He's done so much good in my life and the lives of my family and friends. He hasn't destroyed many nations lately but He has the ability to. He has the power to use eanything and everything either for us or against us. We have to conciously remind ourselves that God isn't just the benevolant Father. He's the Awesome and Powerful Creator and Sustainer of the world. His ability to hold our world in His hands is frightening. He's bigger than anything we could even attempt to wrap our minds around. With a word He can change anything. Whether its goood or bad in our eyes doesn't matter because its God's will and it has a purpose. Yes, God is gracious and compassionate but He is also fear-inspiring. The only one who deserves to be feared.

Psalms 110

This chapter is about how God had promised to bring victory in war to His people, and yet, the thing that hits me is not that promise of victory, but of His promise of His presence. "The Lord is at your right hand..." v.5a He is here with me! He's standing next to me (or rather me next to Him) holding my hand ready to lead me in His way! His presence gives me courage and strength; it gives me joy, peace, and contentment. With my Savior by my side, and with His strength, I can do all things. He picks me up when I fall down and He walks with me in the quiet of the day. At night He gives me peace to sleep. He protects me from danger. He is with me when I feel alone. I think Tenth Avenue North said it best in their song 'By Your Side.' I'll be by your side wherever you've fallen in the dead of night whenever you're calling. Please don't fight these hands that are holding you. My hands are holding you. Here at My side My hands are holding you.

Psalms 109

This psalmist goes from asking for deliverance to asking God to punish his enemies to praying that God would bless him. From one extreme to the other. It just doesn't sit right with me. I don't get it. Did he actually think he was acting right by saying the things he did? "O God, whom I praise, do not remain silent..." v.1 "When he is tried, let him be found guilty and may his prayers condemn him..." v.7 "With my mouth I will greatly extol the Lord; in the great throng I will praise Him..." v.30 He goes from crying "save me! save me!" to "vengeance! vengeance!" to "oh God You're son good!" How can he do that? More importantly how can I? It's wrong to go from asking God to deliver me from something or to ask for a change of heart just so I can turn around to yell at someone and call them names. Then five minutes later I'm praising God with a sweet voice of innocence like nothing happened. No repentance, nothing. I have to be real with everything or God can't use me. Acting like that ruins the witness God gives me and causes more harm than good. "Be real with God and He will be real with you." Kent Matthews